|How to Stay Calm: The RAIN Method. April 2018|
We have all come across the person, or else we are the person, who flies off the handle and reacts, often in an angry, stupid or violent manner. And then afterwards, on realising what a dumb thing it was, regrets the action. Whether you call it reactive, impulsive, reckless or just plain silly behaviour, it is not helpful in just about every situation. The good news is that you can learn to stay calm.
|How to deal with a drama queen: March 2018|
Drama people thrive on attention. But that is typically because growing up they learned to feel invisible and unimportant. They also typically tend to have poor coping skills so they can't manage themselves and their emotions adequately. They are trying to convince you, and therefore themselves, that they matter. And unfortunately their behaviour sabotages their efforts.
|Do you need better personal boundaries? Feb 2018|
Personal boundaries refer to the rules we set in our lives for how others may speak and act around us. Personal boundaries are not there to keep people out. They are there to stop unwanted behaviour from entering your space.
|No more New Year Resolutions: Jan 2018|
First of all, let me wish you a wonderful year ahead. May 2018 be full of love, joy, happiness and success. There is a whole year ahead of you; a whole year full of opportunities for creating the life you want. Some things will not be in your control, however lots of things will be in your control. And how you respond to everything is in your control.
|Create more joy in your life: Dec 2017|
Here we are again. Yet another December. This December we are not going to talk about gratitude, or family. We are not going to talk about doing a post-mortem of the past year and what you learned and didn't learn. And we are not going to even think about your goals and how they went. We are going to think about JOY. After all, that is what really matters.
|An Open Letter to those who are Struggling in Life: 1 Nov 2017|
Life is hard. Somehow we have this expectation that it shouldn't be so hard. Yet it is. So many people are overwhelmed by how things have just become so difficult for them. There you were, happily getting on with your life, doing what everyone does .....
|5 Habits to Build Resilience: 2 October 2017|
If you are someone who finds economic downturns horrible then you need to read on..
It is easy to be happy, successful and full of life when things are going well.
|TIme Management Course - via email - takes 6-8 weeks|
I have put together a time management course which can be done all via email. There is also unlimited email coaching available to you while you are doing the course. You do the course in your own time and place.
|Make every day a "Choose" Day: 1 September 2017|
It was a conference I was at where the phrase, "If it is to be, it is up to me", was bandied about fervently like a catch phrase that would solve all your problems.
|Are you a perfectionist? 1 August 2017|
So are you? Generally speaking if you are then you experience more stress, hurt, anxiety and pain than you need to. Perfectionism is not a good thing. It can stop us from taking action unless we are 100% sure we will succeed, and so we aim too low.
|A quality life starts with quality questions. 1 July 2017|
Most of us are concerned with knowing the answers. We hope we will give the right answer when asked a question. We believe the more answers we know the better our life. And some believe that if you are a leader you really are only any good if you know most, if not all, the answers.
|6 Coping methods for when it all gets too much. 1 June 2017|
No matter how much people may try and make every day great, every day is not a good day. You can utilise every tool you know for positive thinking and problem solving, but some days will just suck. Being competent to life means learning how to get through those days.
|How to Worry Less. 2 May 2017|
Note that the heading is not, "How to stop worrying". I don't think zero worrying is a good thing. If you never, ever, worry about anything you will be approaching a state akin to mania and are most likely to be reckless. Some worry keeps us alive, motivated, and solving problems.
|When being negative can be vital for your emotional health. 1 April 2017|
"I am so sorry for being so negative", she said. That was after discussing how she had lost a loved family member. In fact she had every reason to be upset. To be happy in such a situation would just be weird. To experience a painful loss and walk around with a cheesy grin on your face is just so wrong.
|How to get hired for the job you want. Online course|
I have put together an online course, (which can be done with email). It teaches you the knowledge, skills, attitudes, and behaviours to get the job you want. It covers everything you want to know about the job hunt including a whole lot of things you probably thought you didnít need to know.
|5 Strategies to get that job or promotion. 1 March 2017|
In this newsletter I am going to talk about something most people will go through several times in their lives. That is, finding a new job or getting a promotion.
|30 Techniques to Transform your Life: Online Course|
This 4 - week online/email course contains 30 techniques to teach you to have greater happiness, success and inner peace in your life.
|8 Warning Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship: 1 February 2017|
Relationships are fraught with challenges. In some ways this is needed in order that we grow and learn. It is close to impossible that we would meet someone and everything would be perfect for ever after.
|A Great 2017: 6 January 2017|
It feels quite odd to be typing in 2017. No doubt I, we all, will be used to it very soon. From my side, I wish you all a wonderful, marvellous, fantastic, splendid (whatever else you want to insert that is positive) year.
|Dealing with difficult family over the holidays: 1 December 2016|
The holiday season can strike dread into the hearts of some (or is that many). "Oh no, that means I have to listen to Uncle Stewart's endless stories about the war and how lucky we have it today. And then sister Jeannette and her husband will spend most of the days yelling and screaming at one another.
|Spring Clean your Life: 1 November 2016|
I do realize that for those of us in the Gauteng Province, spring is long gone. Summer is well and truly here with some sweltering days already behind us, and no doubt plenty more to come. However there really is never not a good time to spring clean.
|Building Assertiveness Skills: Online Course|
This course contains some core and some advanced assertiveness skills training. There is theory, there are practical examples, and there are lots and lots of situations for you to try out assertiveness for yourself.
|How Managers can improve the Self-Esteem of their Staff: 1 October 2016|
Without strong self-esteem people perform below their potential. People who are passive, insecure, and lacking in confidence do not propose new ideas and suggestions to improve the business. They lack belief in themselves to influence others to the company's way of thinking and are not good agents of change or leaders. On the other hand people who are arrogant and brash are disliked, sometimes feared, and generally avoided.
|Anger *%^/& Management: 1 September 2016|
Although anger has got a bad wrap, anger itself, as a feeling, is a perfectly normal and healthy emotion. It is the inappropriate acting out of anger that is the problem. Like all feelings, anger is sending us a message.
|Bullying in the Workplace: 1 August 2016|
This is not a new topic, being probably as old as we have had workplaces. However it shows no sign of abating, especially not with the stresses and strains in the workplace today.
|Communication Skills _ 4-week online course|
This course contains some basic and some advanced communication skills. There is theory on tried and trusted communication techniques used in the workplace as well as counselling situations, and lots of opportunity to practice your communication so you can become highly skilled in communicating in many different types of situations.
|10 Ways to be Happier: 1 July 2016|
Okay, so I decided to write something on happiness, which always feels like venturing into Holy Grail territory, because what do people want most? To be happy.
|7 Signs of Toxic Friendship: 1 June 2016|
Many people don't live purposely. That is life just happens to them.
|Assert Yourself: 2 May 2016|
I want to talk about assertiveness in this newsletter as I find it is still a concept and practice that is misunderstood.
|Breaking up with your bad habits: 1 April 2016|
We all have them. And we wish we had never developed them in the first place. I am talking about our bad habits, which could be biting our nails, eating when we are upset, smoking, procrastinating, lying on the couch when we should be doing exercise, etc. Bad habits prevent us from accomplishing our goals and interfere with our lives. They can jeopardize our physical and mental health and they are mostly a waste of time and energy.
|Start your own business: 1 March 2016|
This month I am going to put on my SMME coach hat and talk about some things you want to think about when you start a business.
|Personal Financial Management: A 4-week online course.|
I have put together an online course, with the same type of material that a two-day workshop or 8 session coaching programme on "Managing your personal finances" would contain.
This course is very practical and you will be working with your actual debt, expenses and income extensively, as well as touching on savings and investments and other financial aspects.
|Your Psychosocial Environment: February 2016|
What I mean by this is the situations with other people (social situations) you find yourself in - which can include situations with family, friends, at work, and any other place you go to - and how these environments affect you psychologically.
|Setting and Achieving Goals: 2 January 2016|
A new year, like all new starts, is good for us. Throughout nature, and indeed throughout our lives, we are presented with opportunities to start over. The end of the year allows us to reflect upon the past, learn from it, and put it behind us.
|Self-Respect: 1 December 2015|
When I am doing work with clients on "the self", which happens a lot, I often ask them to do the following exercise. And you can do it as well as you read this.
|It takes more than talent: 1 November 2015|
Our minds can be our greatest friend or our worst enemy depending on what we tell ourselves. A lot of the time we create misery for ourselves by believing a lot of stories that we would like to believe but that just don't reflect the reality of the world we live in.
|Who are you hanging out with? 1 October 2015|
There is an old proverb that says, "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are." We become who we hang around with. And the longer we hang out with people the more we are likely to become just like them.
|Studying Successfully: 1 September 2015|
I know for some of you exams are still some way off. But then for others, such as Grade 12's, they are just around the corner. And even if your exams are still in the future, you should not be leaving everything to the last minute and cramming if you want to do well.
|Better Time Management Part 2: 14 August 2015|
This is part 2 and the last part of the series on managing your time more effectively. Part 1 went out with the newsletter on 2 August 2015
We will start in the same way as with the previous newsletter, with some questions to see how productive you are and whether or not there is still a lot you can do to be more productive.
|Manage your time better Part 1: 2 August 2015|
Most of us wish we had more hours in the day to get through everything we want to. Well I do. The chances of you getting more hours in the day is very unlikely. Actually, it's not going to happen. However the chances of you managing yourself and therefore your time more effectively is a very real possibility.
|Motivation to Change: 1 July 2015|
There is nothing our minds like quite so much as the familiar. Even if we complain and groan about our horrible job, our useless manager, our uncaring friend, and so on, we tend not to do much to change it, because it is what we are used to; it is what we are familiar with.
|Building your Confidence: 4-week online course|
I have put together an online course, with the same type of material that a two-day workshop or 8 session coaching programme on "Building your Confidence" would contain. It is a four-week online course.
|Success Beliefs: 1 June 2015|
A few years ago a young man came to see me. He said the reason he came for coaching is that he wanted to understand what was stopping him from being successful.
|Between Sessions: 1 May 2015|
This past month I seem to have come across a lot of people who are really battling to get through each day. From the time they wake up, the day ahead just seems horrible. In this newsletter I am going to outline two methods that can be used to help people feeling sad, miserable, defeated, or depressed, to feel better. You can also use these methods even if you feel good, to reach peak performance states.
|Ways in which you may be victimizing yourself. 1 April 2015|
While we tend to think of people who have suffered from crime, or abuse, or obvious unfairness as victims, these are not the only situations that can result in victims. Anyone trying to get you to do something you really don't want to do, and don't need to be doing, is getting you to be a victim.
|Conquer Stress: 5 Point Plan: 1 March 2015|
Although we are only two months into the year, I am taken aback by how stressed people already are. And if you are stressed now, unless you have some wonderful holiday planned, the chances are it is only going to get worse as the year progresses. Although many of us seem to think that chronic stress is just a part of life, and that we donít have much choice but to suck it up, there are actions that can be taken to manage stress.
|7 Types of people you want to avoid being in a relationship with. 2 Feb 2015|
One of the aspects of my job is I get to listen to all sorts of problems people experience in relationships. And often the problem is that the person one is in a relationship with is clearly not someone who is psychologically healthy or ready for a relationship. So, this being February, and Valentine's month, here are some points to consider when you pick a partner. These apply for either partner in a relationship; they are not gender specific. They are about picking partners who are capable of having healthy intimate relationships.
|From Victim to Victor: 5 Jan 2015|
One of the readings that had a profound effect on my thinking was a chapter on "Taking Responsibility" that I encountered about 12 years ago. Now most people would consider me very responsible, but this chapter gave me some new insights. I thought back to six months earlier when I had accepted a job offer and started a new job only to discover a few weeks later that the recruitment agent and managers had provided incorrect information about the job.
|The One Habit that can make all the Difference: 1 Dec 2014|
There is one thing that successful people who are remembered decades, and even centuries after their death do, that they claim accounts for much of their success. They reflect. At the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of the month, and at the end of the year, they reflect on what was.
|Setting and Achieving your Goals: Online course|
I have put together an online course, with the same type of material that a full-3-day workshop or 8 session coaching programme on "Setting and Achieving your Goals" would contain.
It is a 6-week online course. This course is suitable for anyone from 13 years of age and older.
|Lessons learned from Start-Up Businesses: 19 Nov 2014|
As a business coach (one of my hats I wear) who helps others start and grow their small businesses, as well as having started my own business, there are some things that have stood out for me as lessons. Below I share some of them.
|Start your own Small Business: Self-coaching workbook|
This workbook is specifically focused on helping you start your own business if you have never had your own business before.
The contents of the chapters are listed .......
|Get the job you want. |
A guide to everything you need to know in order to find and get hired for your perfect job
This is a 90 A4 page ebook that will help you get the job you want. It is a workbook and so includes many exercises as well as examples that you will use in your job search.
|Control your Angry Outbursts: 3 November 2014|
In this newsletter I am going to talk about anger, largely because of the focus in the media of the Oscar Pistorius trial. Now the trial was about murder, however behind everything was a lot of, seemingly out-of-control, anger.
|Study Tips: 1 October 2014|
This is the time of the year when exams start looming and so studying becomes intense. If you want to do well in exams this should not be the time you start, you need to be studying regularly. However, if you haven't started yet, then all is not lost, but you need to get busy soon. Today would be a good time to start if you haven't already started.
|7 Secrets of Super Successful People: 1 Sept 2014|
There have been numerous studies over the decades to understand what makes some people more successful than others. Despite what many folks think, it is not your background, or your education, or your parent's wealth, or your parent's occupation, among other reasons given, that result in success.
|Self-Esteem and Confidence: Online Course|
I have put together an online course, with the same type of material that a full-4-day workshop or 10 session coaching programme on "Building your Self-Esteem and Confidence" would contain.
It is an eight-week online course.
|It's Time to Bear more Fruit: 1 August 2014|
If like me you love gardening, and you are in the Southern Hemisphere, this is the time of year when your thoughts turn to pruning. It is time to chop off the old, dead wood and make way for fresh, new shoots to grow. Pruning also helps plants and trees take on a healthier and better shape.
Now plants are not the only things in need of pruning.
|Personal Financial Management Workbook: 2014|
Read more about the contents of each of the chapters in this workbook and find out about the types of exercises you need to do.
|Reinvention: The Gift After Loss. 1 July 2014|
There is a lot written about loss and the process of grieving for what has been lost, be it a person, lifestyle, job, or a dream that has been lost. The stages of grief - shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are well known. However loss is only one part of the picture. There is also the part that is about gaining something new.
|What does it mean to honor myself? 2 June 2014|
Almost everyone I get to work with does, in some way or other, not honor themselves fully. Actually that applies for almost every one I meet, not just clients. Sometimes my clients have experienced terrible abuse and feel they must be the scum of the earth. Sometimes they are people who have done things they are very much ashamed of (either because of untreated mental illness at the time, or they just did not know how to do better) and are consumed with shame and guilt.
|Dealing with Loss &Change- The Acceptance Stage: 2 May 2014|
Acceptance is one of the stages in loss/bereavement or personal change. It is a stage that some people never reach. It takes time, pain, and effort to reach acceptance. Some people refuse to feel all the emotions associated with loss. They have either become so cut off from their feelings they cannot feel and cannot remember when they last felt, or they believe that to feel their feelings would overwhelm them.
|Finding your Life Purpose: Online Course|
I have put together an online course, with the same type of material that a full-day workshop or 4 session coaching programme on "Finding your Life Purpose" will contain.
|10 Tips to Deal with Anxiety: 1 April 2014|
This month is a continuation of the phases of change. Often after shock and denial comes anxiety, fear or worry. And this can happen even if the change is one we like. Our brains like the familiar, and the unfamiliar, even the desired unfamiliar, can be a bit worrying. So although we typically think of anxiety as associated with danger, you can even feel anxious when you are not truly in danger, you are just out of your comfort zone. This doesn't mean something is wrong or bad. It just means you are moving into a new space.
|Stuck in Denial: 2 March 2014|
Sometimes it's not shock, but denial, that is the first response to hearing about change. Denial means you simply refuse to believe what you are being told. Denial is one of the most basic of the mind's defence mechanisms and occurs because we cannot handle hearing what is being said. We have to pretend it's not true because to believe it is true would be overwhelming.
|Take Good Care of You: 14 Feb 2014|
It is Valentinesí day, and traditionally this is a time to think about our partners. However those without partners sometimes wonder what to do with this day. Well you can keep it the same as any other day, or you could deliberately think about showing yourself some love. Every person, whether they have a relationship with someone else or not, has a relationship with themselves. The relationship you have with yourself is very important. It sets the scene for the quality of all your other relationships.
|Psychological Shock: 2 February 2014|
In this newsletter I am going to continue talking about the phases of personal change. The first one is often categorised as shock and denial. Below I am going to talk about psychological shock. In the next newsletter I am going to talk about denial because they are different; they present differently, and benefit from different interventions.
|Depression and the Festive Season: December 2013|
Now I did say that I would look at the various stages of the grief and change cycle, and that I am going to do. However I have skipped the first few stages (shock/denial, anxiety, bargaining, and anger) because I particularly want to talk about depression given the approaching holidays.
|5 Ways to make it easier to deal with Personal Change: November 2013|
In the last newsletter I said we would be looking at aspects of dealing with Life Transitions, such as major illness, death, relationship break-ups, job loss, etc. In this newsletter we are going to look at some ways in which you can increase your ability to deal with them. While personal changes can be very challenging, and nothing is likely to make them easy to deal with, there are things you can do to build your resilience - your ability to handle the knocks that life sends your way.
|Dealing with Life Transitions: October 2013|
Several years ago I worked on a project at a mine. One of the project team members was a man who thought, spoke, and acted, as though life had punched him in the face one too many times. He had worked for this particular company for 15 years and when things turned bad he was retrenched. He was unable to find another job until the same mine asked him to come back again and work for them two years later.
|Stressed Out! Manage it Better: September 2013|
Too much stress is not good for you. Now I hear you saying, "Well duh Penny, I know that". But sometimes I have to wonder. Being overstressed seems to have almost become a status symbol.
|Abuse in the Workplace: August 2013|
Some years ago, a lady came to see me in a very stressed and agitated state. She was a competent, intelligent lady, with an MBA and good performance reviews. She told me that every day her boss would call her a "f*&%#ing bitch". And this had now been going on for some months.
|7 Ways to increase your Resilience: July 2013|
Now I don't know about you, but my personal resilience depends a lot on how much sleep I had the night before. But that's just me. However there is quite a lot known about what makes people resilient, and what you can do to increase your resilience.
|Be a better listener: June 2013|
Listening is a skill. And it is a skill that can improve our performance, both in a professional and a personal capacity. If you are a sales person then you need to listen very well to be able to understand the needs of your potential client. With careful listening you are more likely to make the sale. If you are a leader you need to listen to the people you lead. If you are a boss you need to be good at listening. How else will you know what is really going on in your organization? If you are a parent and you are good at listening to your children you will be a better parent.
|Handling Difficult Conversations: May 2013|
We all need to have them and we seldom relish the prospect. I am talking about those difficult conversations. The conversation you need to have when someone has violated your personal boundaries. Or the conversation you need to have when you want to put forward a really great idea to someone known as a defensive boss. Or the conversation you need to have with a significant other when he or she has done something that really hurt you.
|Why entrepreneurial thinking is a critical life skill: 2 April 2013|
Life for those who have just left school and are looking for a job is tough. Life for those who have just graduated with a degree or diploma is also tough. Jobs are scarce, and they are particularly scarce for those with little or no work experience. Throughout the world, in developed as well as in developing countries, youth unemployment is a critical issue. Some go as far as to say it is a ticking time bomb in society. However you may call it, it is something that cries out to be addressed.
|Living with Integrity: 1 March 2013|
Integrity is one of those words that I think we use quite glibly. We use it without really thinking through what it means. We rate people deliberately on integrity when we are asked to, such as during a 360 degree manager review, and we rate people on integrity without even being fully aware of what we are doing, such as when we are sizing up a potential friend.
|7 Tips to Increase your Productivity: 1 February 2013|
Are you busy? If you are like many people then you are likely to reply that you are rushed off your feet. "How do I find the time to do everything I need to do?" is a plea I often get. "How can I get more done during the day is another?" "Social life, what social life?" people say to me. You get the picture.
|5 Tips to Kick-Start your Year: 21 January 2013|
Yes, I know that 2013 is already three weeks old. However, sometimes this can be quite a good time to set your priorities and goals for the rest of the year. If you have already done so, then why not re-look them. If you haven't, then what is holding you up?
|3 December 2012: Gratitude and Appreciation|
Okay, I confess, this is December, and so you are going to read yet another post on giving thanks. This is after all the season to be festive and jolly and give thanks. But this is also the season to start planning for 2013; a time of setting new goals
|1 November 2012: Forgiving and Letting Go|
Our path to wellness and success is often thwarted because there is something we just cannot let go of. We burn with anger and resentment; we act out our bitterness and hurt. Below is an approach that I use with clients and myself, that I have found really does make a big difference.
|1 October 2012: 30 Tips to get New Clients|
This is something that lots of people want to know how to do. And if you don't have your own business, then I am sure your employer would like you to get more of the right kind of clients for them.
|3 September 2012: Leadership and Hope|
Napoleon Bonaparte said, "A leader is a dealer in hope." Now many folks' experience suggests that rather than being dealers in hope, many leaders are better described as dealers in fear.
|29 August 2012: Warning Signs for Suicide|
This is quite a somber article because it reflects the happenings of the last two weeks. And the last two weeks happen to involve lots of people in great pain as well as the stories of several successful suicide attempts. Last week, while at a workshop, the gentleman next to me told the group about an ex-colleague, who on hearing he had been laid off from work, proceeded to go home and shoot himself in the head.
|1 August 2012: Get Networking|
"I need to be networking", is something that lots of folks at some stage say to me. And they say it in such a way that it clearly holds as much fun for them as root canal treatment. They say it, with a hidden plea of, "Tell me how to make it easier and more exciting than I think it is".
|9 July 2012: 12 Practice Principles|
In this post I outline twelve principles which make up the philosophy I bring to coaching my clients. These principles form the foundation of what I do and what I believe people can achieve with change.
|21 June 2012: The Unconscious Organization|
Unconscious as I refer to it here, does not mean dead or in a coma Ė although I can imagine quite a few people would think that an apt description of the company they work for. In this post, it means unconscious in the psychological sense. That is, it refers to varying levels of unawareness of what is happening within the company and the surrounding environment
|1 June 2012: Mind Your Language|
My neighbors have two miniature dachshunds. Karma is a long-haired black miniature dachshund and Tao is a smooth-haired black miniature dachshund. They are sisters and at present are about two and a half years old, having lived next door for two years. As miniature dachshunds they are tiny dogs - 6 inches in height. True to their breed they are very curious and brave. And Karma in particular is an extreme adventurer.
|May 2012: Practicing Assertiveness|
Assertiveness means that I stand up for my wants, needs, and values, in a way that respects the self esteem of others. It means a willingness to stand up for myself, treat myself with respect in all encounters, and be who I am.
|April 2012: Hesitant to Change - Nine ways to make it easier to effect personal change|
Twelve years ago, during a lecture for a postgraduate business course, the lecturer asked each of us to rate our level of satisfaction with the amount of change we were experiencing in the world and in our lives. While most people complain of too much change, a few of us mavericks raised our hands to indicate that we wanted to see more change.
|March 2012: Take Personal Responsibility for your Actions|
Coaching is known for having actions that clients need to take between appointments - sometimes this is referred to as homework. And these actions are always agreed to by the client.
|February 2012: Manage your levels of alertness, focus, and motivation |
In his book, "Your Brain at Work" (2009), David Rock talks about the search for the zone of peak performance. What he is referring to is having just the right amount of activity levels in the brain (specifically the prefrontal cortex where decision making and problem solving take place) to perform optimally.
|January 2012: Three Habits that will Change your Life|
Instead of setting resolutions for the year, set some new habits. After all, you are your habits. What you achieve and what you become is based on what you do day after day. I want to suggest three habits for you to develop that will move your life forward more than you could ever imagine - in fact they will transform your life. These three habits come from the following quote by Nora Roberts:
|December 2011: Your Life - only many, many times better|
If I were to ask you what roles you play in your life, I am sure you would come up with many - such as parent, friend, sibling, professional, manager, worker, spouse, etc. At this time of the year when the word frazzled best describes how many of us feel, you are probably even thinking of relinquishing some of the roles you have.
|November 2011: Make more money & make more of your money|
Although they dislike the thought of reducing expenditure, most clients get this part. When I ask them how they can increase their income, many of them look at me incredulously and say, "Well I can't, I earn a fixed monthly salary". They see their salary from their employer as their income - their only income.
|October 2011: Six Tips for Landing your Dream Job|
Because of the work I do, I receive many emails and phone calls from people who want advice on finding a job. Some have been unemployed and looking for a job for as long as two years. Finding work is challenging at the best of times, and when you have been looking for months or even years with no success, it requires a herculean effort just to stay motivated enough to continue with the search.
|September 2011: Peak performance states & feeling good|
While many people want to be happy all the time, it really is not possible. Grief, for instance, needs to be expressed, and the only way to deal with the pain is to go through it. There are however times when being down is not helpful; when being in a peak state is critical to perform at our best.
|August 2011: The Power of Vision|
To enable organisational and personal change two key requirements are necessary upfront. The first is to create a burning platform. The second key requirement, which many unfortunately forget, is to set a vision for the future. When you have set the platform on fire, people need something else to jump onto. And that something is vision.
|July 2011: Ten things to know after a traumatic experience|
A traumatic experience is one in which the normal capacity to cope is completely overcome by a threatening event. Traumatic events can be man-made such as motor vehicle accidents or fires, they can be natural disasters such as floods and earthquakes, and they can be acts of violence, crime and terrorism such as domestic violence, kidnapping, rape, assault, or hijacking
|June 2011: Building your Personal Resilience|
An enormous amount of time and energy is spent stressing, hurting, resenting, and venting about the words and behaviour of other people. Especially when we perceive it as directed towards us.
|May 2011: Building Your Change Resilience|
During a show on Oprah about the abuse of over-the-counter medication as well as illegal drugs, one of the doctors made a point that has stuck with me ever since. He said, "People turn to pills and alcohol because they have not learned to deal with the challenges and pain that are part of life."
|April 2011: Six Steps to Success|
Somehow my April newsletters always seem to be about success and winning. And it is all because of various international sporting competitions on the go or about to start at around this time.
|March 2011: The Value of Knowing your Values|
It was only when I started my own business, and put a great deal of work into defining the values I wanted for my brand, that I began to see the real value in having clear values.
|February 2011: Six Life Lessons we learn from Relationships|
We grow up believing that relationships are about learning to understand another person better. Well, yes, that is true. However, what is seldom told to us is that, even more than coming to an understanding of another, relationships are the mirror through which we come to a deeper understanding of ourselves.
|January 2011: Five Steps to Renew Your LIfe|
Hello, this is traditionally the time of New Year resolutions. I can already see the cynics among you wrinkling up your noses and laughing. New Year Resolutions - those things we make and expect to break a few weeks later. However, since January is a time of new beginnings, there is no better time to develop some new habits.
|December 2010: Celebration and Gratitude|
Let us remember that for many, December is a month of celebration and thanksgiving. Records show that since the dawn of mankind people of every country, culture and religion engage in celebration and thanksgiving. They may not call it Christmas, they may not do it in December, but they celebrate and give thanks.
|November 2010: The time to relax is when you don't have the time for it.|
What do you do if you are one of those people who is so tired you would give anything for a holiday right now, but have to find the energy and enthusiasm to keep going for the next 6 - 7 weeks.
|October 2010: From "Despicable Me" to "Magnificent Me"|
Sometime around the first quarter of this year I decided to sort out my files, my e-files on my hard drive, that is. Amongst the numerous files I found nine versions of my CV. So in the interests of clearing the clutter, I read them all with the purpose of consolidating everything into one updated document.
|September 2010: What assumptions have you made today?|
Think about the events that have transpired so far today. You may prefer not to of course (on the grounds that it is painful or embarrassing or just plain awful to reflect on this), but do this exercise anyway. How many assumptions have you made today?
|August 2010: Change - the Courage to do a Different Dance|
One of the things we forget when life is going well is just how difficult it can sometimes be to make change. The energy and perseverance required to usher in the new can at times be almost overwhelming.
|July 2010: Self Leadership- the foundation of all leadership|
Whether you are the leader for a large corporate, a family, a church, an NGO, a partnership practice, or any other type of organisation you can think of, if you want to be a great leader of others you need to be a great leader of yourself first.
|June 2010: A World of Opportunities|
There are many phrases which stick with us because they are rooted in some profound truth or wisdom. One of my favourites is that fabulous line depicting South Africa as "alive with possibilities".
|May 2010: Facing your Fears|
Very recently the newspapers in Gauteng contained, amongst other horror stories, the news of a baby and her nanny who were attacked in their home. This story featured in a variety of media. Unfortunately this is not unusual news, and once the media scrutiny has died down the family will still be left to face the aftermath of this experience - which will include coming to terms with the fear generated from such an event.
|April 2010: The Value of Self Belief and Persistence|
With Easter behind us and the World Cup looming ahead, we are well into 2010. As we play host to the best football players in the world let us not forget what it takes to reach those levels.
|March 2010: In what is awful, there is beauty|
The above title is a line from the recently released film "A Single Man" starring Colin Firth as a college professor who loses his soul mate.
|February 2010: Be inspired|
A number of years ago after I had completed a talk, the CEO of one of the large South African Banks (he retired some years ago) walked up to me and asked "How do I get the hearts and minds of my people behind this company?"